Category: Deny

Focus on Admission

It is Saturday at 5:30 a.m. and pouring rain.   

There are two ways I can view this fact: 

  1. It’s dark, windy, early, and of course… it is the weekend. Naturally, it’s been beautiful all week (while I was working and could not really enjoy the weather). I am only up because I set my alarm in hopes of getting some time before the day gets rolling to read, think, and take care of a few things for work. But now my son’s soccer game will be canceled, which means I definitely could have slept longer- something that does not happen often- and certainly not Monday through Friday.  

OR 

2. The rain is going to wash away all this God-forsaken pollen that has been caked all over our cars and porch and wreaking havoc on my allergies. No soccer game means no driving, no waiting around for the match to start, and more family and free time today. Also, I love running right after the rain, and sometimes heading out in the middle of it when nobody else is on the streets.   

Ultimately, our perspective, and where we focus, is a decision. In March and April, college admission is full of decisions. Admit, deny, waitlist decisions coming out from colleges. And as a student or family, receiving that information, coupling it with financial aid and scholarship details, and making big decisions yourself. 

Focus on Admission

A few years ago, my friend and colleague Akil Bello coined the phrase “highly rejective” colleges. I appreciate the reframing from “selective” and think it’s helpful to students in understanding the reality of supply and demand in higher education.  

For the same reason, I am an advocate of universities highlighting both the percentage of applicants they admit and deny, in hopes of encouraging students to consider a balanced list of schools to visit or apply to.  

At Georgia Tech this year, we admitted 16% of applicants. Some students did not complete their application, some canceled before we could make an admission decision, and some are currently waitlisted. Still, at this point, we have denied first-year admission to about 70% of applicants.   

In terms of motivating my team, and staying focused on our goals, I have two options:  

  1. I can embrace this moniker of being a “rejective” college (according to ChatGPT, “highly rejective” only kicks in at 10%). I could open my inbox and read the volley of angst from amazing students who were denied, frustrated parents who are… frustrated, or alumni who are considering removing Tech from their wills or “never stepping foot on campus again” (Yes. Those quotation marks are literal). I could go to the grocery store or church or my son’s soccer game and see neighbors and friends who Tech (sometimes perceived to be Rick Clark) denied this year. I could get really twisted up by the question posed to me on a panel recently, “How do you sleep at night knowing you turn down thousands of incredible students every year?”  

OR  

2. I can focus on the fact that Georgia Tech is the 2nd fastest growing public school in the nation behind UC-Merced (and they sort of have an advantage given they were established in 2005).   

I can focus on the 8,400~ first-year applicants we admit or the 11,000+ students we offer a Tech undergraduate opportunity to via first-year, transfer, and dual enrollment. I can appreciate that this year we’ll enroll 6000 new undergraduates and that this year we enrolled 3000~ more undergraduates than just five years ago.  

Of course, none of that changes the fact that we “turn down thousands of incredible students every year,” but my answer to that question on the panel was that I sleep just fine (sometimes aided by melatonin), because I choose to focus on admission. Our team works incredibly hard and it pays off. We create lots of opportunity and choose to celebrate the abundance of good news we distribute. Tech is a public good for our state that develops leaders who advance technology and improve the human condition at the local, state, regional, national, and global level. Our work is big, significant, and important, and as a result the future is bright!  

Focus on Admission  

As a student, you have a similar choice:  

  1. You can focus on the negative: you did not get in to your first choice; three schools waitlisted you; or you are experiencing the 8th level of admission purgatory—being deferred and then waitlisted. You can focus on the financial aid package that did not come through or the kid in your class or down the street (actual or imagined) who got into a particular college when you believe you are more qualified– or want to go there more.  

OR 

2. You can focus on admission. If you are a senior reading this, you have college choices and options. And be reminded, my friends, that was the goal from the outset. I am urging you to focus on the YES’. 

You can read back over those letters of admission that celebrate your accomplishments and welcome you into their communities. You can go to your mailbox or inbox and see invitations to admitted student programs or offers to visit campus and connect with other students.  

You can celebrate the hard work you have put in to get to this point and consider the innumerable and fantastically unknowable future opportunities you will discover at the college you select. None of that changes the fact that one (or a few schools denied you), but I am hopeful you will “highly reject” that vantage point, and instead FOCUS ON ADMISSION!  

Congratulations! Your future is bright– even if you happen to be reading this on what is (or simply feels like) a cold, dark, or rainy morning.  

The Two Most Important Letters in College Admission

I loved watching Family Feud when I was a kid. The need to think quickly on the first showdown, the spontaneous family dynamics, and playing along at home with anyone who would join me. Over its 40+ year history, guests and gimmicks and hosts and networks have changed, and there have been some dark, quiet years when the show was scrapped, but today it is as lively and fun as ever.  

 If you have never watched the show…who are you? And what kind of incomplete life have you been living? Scratch that- if you have never watched Family Feud, you can check it out on ABC, Hulu, download the Feud Live app or view some priceless clips on YouTube.

 As a quick refresher, the game starts with a prompt: “We asked 100 people (insert a random prompt here).” The contestants attempt to name something that they believe would receive the most mentions.

Let’s give it a shot.  

“We asked 100 people what the most important letters in college admission are…” 

In this case, I think the “number one answer on the board” would be GPA. Trying to think like the majority my next response would be SAT and ACT. The odds are those three would account for 70%+ of the answers. 

But if you changed the initial prompt to: “We asked 100 admission officers what the most important letters in college admission are…” the number one answer on the board would undoubtedly be —IPs. Internet Protocol address? Uhh…no. IPs are Institutional Priorities.

IPs, Institutional Priorities.

The outward-facing Mission and Vision Statements schools publish on their sites are lofty, well-crafted, broad, and aspirational. Institutional Priorities connect to mission, but they are more functional, specific, and quantifiable.  As an admission dean/director, IPs influence the entire funnel – from prospects to enrolling students.

Prospects/Recruitment: In recent years, as an example, many states and regions of the country have been losing population. They know that to achieve the most basic of all IPs– a certain class size– they need to grow their college’s brand beyond their geographic area, create new markets, and bolster enrollment from feeder schools or cities. This is one reason you see so many regional recruiters from the Midwest and Northeast living in Atlanta, Dallas, California, etc. Why do some colleges consistently visit some states twice a year and yet have not physically been to others in decades? Number one answer on the board—IPs.

A new Provost is hired at Sample College. She looks at the undergraduate enrollment and sees that in recent years the population has been becoming increasingly female- a general trend in higher education. While ten years ago, the school was 55% women, it is now over 60%. In the Provost’s interviews, discussions with faculty, and conversations with employers, she’s learned that re-establishing more gender equity is a goal. Voila. An IP is born and you can bet in her first few conversations with her admission dean, she is asking for a list of actions for how they will accomplish this institutional priority.

Suddenly, Sam gets a postcard in the mail from Sample College, while his fraternal twin Samantha does not—even though she competed Sample’s sample online interest form and cheers for the Sample Salmons every Saturday.

Marketing: Let’s say Example University (Home of the Fighting Ex’s) adds a Nursing major and hires a new ambitious business school dean charged with significantly growing the B school. You can bet EU is investing in publications, digital marketing campaigns, texts, social media efforts, and other resources to achieve those goals. Why do you think you’ve started seeing “Example Means Business” pop-ups on your screen and feed lately? Do I think Example should put a picture of a kid in a suit and briefcase having his blood drawn? No. But trust- Instagram takeovers will show plenty of pictures of EKG machines and stock market graphs in the year ahead.

Admission deans have been hired and fired based on their ability to meet specific institutional priorities: raise our standardized test score average, decrease our admit rate, eat into the market share of our biggest rival. As I said before, IPs are functional, specific, and quantifiable. On average, I get one or two job postings for admission/enrollment jobs each week. IPs are a significant piece of those job profile summaries.

Admission Decisions. At the beginning of the year, all admission deans are given a target number of students to enroll: 500, 5000, etc. Right on the heels of that information are subgoals…the numbers within the numbers…the IPs.

My alma mater, UNC-Chapel Hill, is legislated to enroll 82% of its students from North Carolina. Since the majority of applicants don’t hail from the Old North State, it is absolutely easier to get into UNC from Concord, NC than Concord, NH. This is true at Georgia Tech as well. Our Georgia admit rate this year will be four times that of non-Peach Staters.

If you are a senior awaiting an admission decision from a more selective school, this means your test score, GPA, number of AP courses, or any other purely academic metric is not going to be the entire basis for your admission decision. Yes, holistic admission means more than the academic numbers, but it also means other numbers play in, i.e. IPs. This is what admission deans mean when they say they are looking to “select” or “shape” a class. If Admissions was a language on Google Translate, “shaping a class” would convert to “IPs drive our process.”

How do you know what a particular school’s institutional priorities are?

When I bring up IPs on panels or in conversation, the first question is always, “How do I know what a school’s IPs are? ” At that point, I shift from the most important letters to the most commonly used phrase in college admission… It Depends.

Sometimes these will be overtly stated in webinars or presentations. A few years ago, I was on a panel in Denver with a dean from the northeast and he literally said, “We are trying to increase the number of students from Colorado. Why do you think I’m here?”

Sometimes you will see IPs reflected on websites. If a school is using a sliding scale that correlates the amount of financial aid dollars (i.e. scholarship/merit money) with test scores, it is clear increasing their SAT/ACT average is a goal.

Sometimes you can just ask. Now, if the response is they want Chemistry majors from Nebraska, their response may not help, but admission officers welcome questions in virtual sessions or while you are on campus. “What are your goals for the next class?” “What are you trying to grow or improve here?” Put your own spin on it, but just know you can absolutely ask this type of question.

Sometimes you won’t know. If an enrollment manager has been instructed to reduce the discount rate, enroll fewer students from your state, or decrease the number of students with first and last names that both start with M…Well, sorry Matthew Martin, you’ll just be left to think it was the fact that you didn’t take AP World Geography.

So What?

If you are a junior, obviously I’m telling you to move to Nebraska and indicate Chemistry as an intended major. Secondly, spend copious amounts of time analyzing the last decade of Common Data Sets for the colleges you are considering in order to determine their strategies and trends. No- please don’t go down those speculative rabbit holes. All of what I’ve said over the years holds- your job is to understand your goals, your interests, and your priorities, and apply to colleges where you would be excited to attend. I could write another few thousand words about this, but since I already wrote a book and blog for the last seven years, I’ll let my body of work stand.

If you are a senior, many colleges will release decisions in March. If you are denied from a selective college, my hope is you won’t question your academic ability or lose sleep trying to figure out what was “wrong” with you or what you “could or should have done differently.” IPs mean admission decisions do not translate to “We don’t think you are smart” or “You could not be successful here.”

I didn’t ask 100 admission deans what words they would use to describe students they were forced to deny based on supply and demand and IPs, but here are my top three answers:

Smart

Talented

Impressive

You won’t see all of that in deny letters. You won’t really hear the voice of the dean/director whose signature is in your portal. But even in disappointment, my hope is you will know all of this is true. Instead of second-guessing or dwelling on things outside of your control, focus on the places where you are admitted. They clearly saw the same match and fit you did when you applied. They probably did not use the words “Institutional Priority” in their letter, but you are one. And that is something to celebrate and be excited about.

 

 

Here Comes the Sun: A Parent’s Perspective on Deny

Learn more and listen to Q&A about this blog on the College Admission Brief podcast: Apple | Spotify | Spreaker | Google

This week we welcome Regional Director of Admission for the Mid Atlantic, Kathleen Voss, to the blog. Welcome, Kathleen!

Rick Clark, I actively AVOIDED your previous two blogs about messages for parents of students applying to college.  This was very hard for me to do, as I am huge fan of your blog and a huge fan of you.  This morning, I grabbed a cup of coffee and, even with 200 applications sitting in my queue, braced myself and sat down to read all about the mistakes I have made.

You see, recently this whole “parent with a child in the college search” thing has become a real drag… and I want to send it and your blog to a place where the sun doesn’t shine!  I say this with the greatest admiration, respect, and love for you Rick, but on Friday my daughter received her first “deny” from a college.  Now I find myself in uncharted waters. The gate was closed on the gatekeeper’s kid…. and it stinks!

Becoming “That Parent”

As much as I hate to admit it, in that instant I became THAT parent.  I am 100% more disappointed than she is. Before you ask, of course I did not let her see my disappointment. I checked my emotions, took a breath, and said, “It’s their loss.”

While we both anticipated this result (my enrollment manager brain crunched the numbers weeks ago), I could not get it out of my head that this college was a great fit for her. The proximity to home was perfect. She could realistically start on day one as an Admission Office tour guide because she knows so much about the history of the institution.  We have a close relative who is recent graduate and has so much in common with my daughter. I LOVED THAT SCHOOL!

We are in the last lap of this search. DANG IT! Remember your PRONOUNS!!!!  My DAUGHTER is in the last lap of the college search process. SHE is waiting to hear from a few more schools. She seems to be dealing with everything well…. even the deny. She is calm and reasonable. After living with a college admission counselor for 18 years, she seems to have absorbed my trade craft.  She recognizes what she can and cannot control in the process. She feels confident that she put forth the best applications that she could. She spent time on her essays and only asked me to look over her final draft.  She has and continues to work hard in high school, though senioritis is starting to creep in. Sounds like a dream, right?

So why do I feel like I have been hit by a Mack truck?

I’ve had hundreds of conversations with students and parents about the reasons behind Tech’s admission decisions.  I have comforted, counseled, and moved on. I get it…  at least, I should get it. “It’s not you, it’s me.” Rick’s blogs make perfect, reasonable sense. This feels personal– but it’s not.

I hurt for my daughter and this first taste of rejection. And selfishly, it stings for me and my ego.  No, I am not planning to follow anyone into a parking lot to ask “why?” and I won’t be calling our Governor (he clearly has his hands full right now).

But there is value in seeing both sides of the same coin.

Another Challenging Year 

It has been an incredibly challenging year for our admission staff.  A fair number of us in the office have kids who are juniors and seniors in high school.  We all read applications from students who remind us of our own: a shared birthday or hobby, similar family dynamics, the same senior schedule, a common class that was especially difficult. When we open these files, we can’t help but think, “I sure hope the admission counselor at XYZ University is REALLY looking at all of my child’s amazing qualities.  I hope they aren’t too tired, and they really READ her essay, recommendations, and activities.”

While we face every year with professionalism and rapt attention, this year, we senior parents have been laser focused on ALL those holistic points, searching for answers, double checking our work, and willing our colleagues at other schools to do the same for our kids.

Add to this seeing so many young people being put through the absolute wringer during Covid.  I have read more essays about trauma, grief, depression, and anxiety in the past four months than I have in my entire 29-year career.  It has been heart breaking. The respect I have always had for my colleagues in school and college counseling offices across the nation has increased 1,000-fold. If we are seeing this volume of stress in applications, I can only imagine how it must impact their daily lives.  Then we add having to deny applicants during an already really challenging time.

But we do it. We must. We have over 50,000 applications. We will deny more than half of them. And by the way, that half is amazing, like my daughter, which makes it all the harder. Supply and demand. Mission driving admission. All valid and logical, but this year especially, it is a part of the job that just sucks.

It WILL Be Okay

If you know me, you know I am a positive person, and there is no way that I can write a blog that starts with me being insubordinate to my incredible boss and ends with me almost swearing. So, let me end on a high note: to the parents reading this, it will be okay.  Whether your child was denied at YOUR first-choice college, or THEIR first choice, it will be okay.  It has been a joyful, emotional, and eye-opening ride and I have newfound perspective and patience.

As the end of this amazing college search is in sight for my family, I’d like to recognize and give gratitude to the following.

West Virginia University, you were the first school to admit my daughter.  I can still see the excitement on her face when she opened that email. We sang “Country Roads” at the top of our lungs. I am so impressed by your communications. They are warm, welcoming, and positive!  You seem to intuitively know the questions that we have at any given time.

Providence College, you hosted a FANTASTIC open house. I know how much work went into that event and you did it with grace and style…. and SNACKS!  You made my daughter feel welcomed and comfortable from the start.

Barry at Pitt, in the middle of a record-breaking season, you took the time to reach out to me and answer my questions. I am grateful to you and can’t wait to sit on a panel together IN PERSON once again.

University of Rhode Island, thank you for recognizing my child’s talent and success.  I whole heartedly agree with your assessment of her!

Eli Clarke I am grateful to you for your wisdom, friendship, and support and for your amazing Tik Tok @mr.c_collegecounselor, which offered my daughter and so many others exceptional advice throughout the process.

WHS Counseling Staff, I don’t know how you do it. This has been such a wild and intense year for you. Somehow you have managed to balance crisis management, mask wars, and 1,000 other things you do in a day and still make yourselves available to help students with their college search questions. I SEE YOU!

Rick Clark, for your great insight, which, even in the throes of disappointment, is calming and rational and brings us back to earth.  Maybe we could just forget that I wanted to stick your blog in a sunless place?

Kathleen Voss has worked in college admission for over 25 years. She joined the Georgia Tech Office of Undergraduate Admission in 2013 as the Institute’s first Regional Director of Admission. Prior to Tech, Kathleen worked regionally for Manhattan College and as the Associate Director of Admission for Regis College in Massachusetts. She is a member of PCACAC and serves on the Admission Practices Committee. She enjoys spending time with her husband and two daughters and volunteering in her community.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three Messages Parents of High School Students Need to Hear About College Admission

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I am getting older. I know this because I now bring a mini-massage gun with me when I travel; my pant legs neither tightly hug my calves nor end an inch above my ankle; and when I buy wine at the grocery store the cashier either does not card me or goes back to scanning items when I confidently reach for my wallet (plus, hey, I’m regularly buying wine at the grocery store).

I’m not sure if you are also experiencing this, but my kids are getting older too, as are their parents. So, with each passing year, I’m getting more texts, emails, and calls from friends about college and college admission, and over-hearing both discussed frequently at games or other events.

While I did write an entire book on this subject, I feel like I owe my friends more than simply texting them an Amazon link. Plus, I understand not everyone is up for reading 200+ pages. But after watching this cycle repeat itself for over two decades (use of “decades” being another “getting older” give-away), I’m convinced there are a few messages most parents of high school students need to hear-and hopefully will listen to also.

Pronouns Matter. As your kids enter and move through high school, and especially as they are applying to college, I hope you will be cognizant of your pronouns. If you find yourself commonly saying things like, “We have a 3.8,”Pre-Calc is really killing us this year,” or “Our first choice is ___________,” it may be time to take a long walk, a deep breath, or a stiff drink. Ask yourself if those pronouns are just a reflection of your love and years of intimately intertwined lives, or if they are a subtle prodding to step back and let your student demonstrate what you know they are capable of handling.

As you well know, parenting is a delicate dance that becomes increasingly complicated as kids get older. Be honest with yourself and pay attention to when its time to take the lead or step back. Interestingly, it was current Atlanta Mayor (and former Georgia Tech staff member) Andre Dickens who introduced me to the concept of moving from parent to partner with a presentation he used to give at new student-parent orientation. And that should be your focus as your kids move closer toward graduation from high school.

As a parent, I understand this is not easy. But don’t lose sight of the ultimate goal. “College Prep” is not simply about academics, and we should be focused on ensuring our kids are socially, emotionally, and practically prepared, regardless of where they end up going to college. Watching your pronouns is a great place to start.

College admission is not fair. However, in contrast to what most people think, it is easy to understand. Admission is driven by two fundamental rules:

  1. Supply and demand. The Applicant to Class Size ratio drives admit rate. If applications go up and enrollment does not, the admit rate drops.

This is why you hear about Younger Sibling not getting into University of X (Home of the Fighting X’s) with the same, or even better high school grades and classes, than Older Sibling (a current junior at X with a 3.4 GPA). Three years have passed, U of X’s new first-year class size is the same, but this year they receive 5000 more applications than the year Older applied. Could Younger do the work? 100%. Is Younger talented, ambitious, and very interested in going to University of X? Without question. Is this fair? Nope, but it is logical.

  1. Mission drives admission. As we just established, Older is a good student and a good person (3.4 GPA in college and very active on campus). But three years ago, when she applied as a high school senior, there was another candidate vying for admission—Applaquint. “App” had better grades, better classes, better writing, and more community involvement (all the things U of X says it values) than Older. App, however, was denied.

Why? Well, it happens that App is from Y (the state just to the east of X). Because University of X is a public school, students from the state are admitted at 5 times (would have been too confusing to say 5x) the rate of non-Xers. Fair? No! Again, App is smarter, nicer, and better looking than Older. But again, totally logical.

College brochures may make all campuses look the same, but the goals for the composition of their classes vary widely in number, geography, major, gender, and so on. So when admission committees discuss candidates, they are reviewing and considering GPA, essays, and letters of recommendation,  but ultimately institutional mission and priorities are the lens and filter through which admission decisions are made.

As a parent, my sincere hope is you hear, believe, and prepare yourself for this truth- neither an admit nor deny decision is a value judgment or evaluation of your job as a parent. My friend Pam Ambler from Pace Academy puts it perfectly: “Admission decisions feel deeply personal, but that is not how they are made.” As a result, many parents react when their student receives disappointing admission news. They see that hurt and think they need to call the admission office (or the president or the governor), appeal the decision, “come down there,” or pull strings. After watching this cycle repeat itself over and over, and particularly as my own kids grow up, I’ve come to appreciate ALL of that comes from a place of deep and genuine love. But ultimately, in these moments what kids need from you is very simple—love, concern, empathy, belief, and encouragement, or sometimes just a heartfelt hug.

College Parents > HS Parents. When your kids were little and you were struggling with potty training or getting your baby to sleep through the night, did you seek advice and insight from other parents in the same chapter? No! Because they were either a: just as clueless or frustrated as you were b: maddeningly oblivious c: prone to lie, exaggerate, or hide the reality of their situation.

The same is true when it comes to college admission. Other parents with kids in high school often have just enough information to sound informed but frequently serve to proliferate inaccuracy and consternation– “You know the valedictorian three years ago did not get into….” and “It’s easier to get in from (insert high school three miles away), because they don’t have IB like we do.” Generous generalizations and liberal rounding phrases like, “he has mostly As and Bs” or her SAT is “around a 1400″ should send your BS radar way up in cases like this. Walk away, my friends. Dismiss, change the subject, and don’t let those comments stress you out. 

The bottom line is parents of high school students should talk to fewer parents of high school students about college admission, and more parents of current college students, or recent college graduates. These folks, who are one chapter ahead, invariably provide perspective, levity, insight, and sanity. They are far less prone to exaggeration, and in fact often incredibly raw and honest in their evaluation. “She was crushed when she did not get into Stanvard. But now she’s at Reese’s U and is not sorry.” Or “We didn’t get the financial aid package we needed for him to go to Enidreppep University, so he ended up at QSU. He graduates this spring and already has a great job lined up with the company where he’s been interning.” Again, seek perspective, levity, insight, and sanity from parents of current college students, and spend your time talking to parents of other high school students about the upcoming game or recently opened restaurant in your area.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for listening. And stay tuned for upcoming podcasts and blogs with a few more key messages for high school parents coming soon…

If you have friends who not won’t read 200+ pages, but are likely not even ready 1000+ words, you can send them to my original Twitter thread with these messages for parents. 

Handling Admission Decisions — A Coach’s Guide

Earlier this week my son played in a middle school basketball game. With two seconds left, he lined up to shoot free throws. He walked to the line, bounced the ball slowly several times, eyed his shot and released. Rattling from the front of the rim to the back, the ball ultimately glanced off the left side of the basket and out.

“AJ! Just take a breath. Relax and take your time,” I heard his coach yell as the opposing crowed waved their hands and pounded on the bleachers.

Perhaps it was just because he’s my son, but I could literally see the air go in and out of his chest as he tried to follow his coach’s instructions. He spun the ball around between his hands and shot…And again the ball caromed off the rim. Before anyone could rebound, the buzzer sounded. Game over.

After the team huddled for a post-game talk, the coach held my son back and put his arm around him. I couldn’t hear his words, but it was clear he was consoling and encouraging. Walking to the car, I decided not to say anything. We drove home in silence for the first ten minutes. Finally, I asked him directly, “What did coach have to say?”

He told me he understands how I feel, and that I will get another chance this season, so keep practicing and keep my head up.

—

In the weeks and months ahead, thousands of high school seniors will be receiving admission decisions, and even though they were delivered in a completely different setting, I felt like coach’s words are helpful, applicable, and worth repeating.

If you are deferred admission –Wrote about this last December, so you can read more here, but I hope you will not look back over what you could have done differently. Don’t spend time questioning if you should have written on a different essay topic or had someone else write you a letter of recommendation. Look forward not backward. You will get another chance this season. Finish this semester strong, send in your fall grades, and complete any forms or other requirements the school requests.

A defer is not a deny. Instead, it’s a hold on—a timeout to continue the basketball analogy. The game is not over, so don’t act like it is. As an example, 20% of Tech’s current first-year students were either deferred or waitlisted last year. Too many deferred students receive this news as a No, and they take their proverbial ball and go home. You did not apply for this round, but rather for next year. Be patient. Take a breath. Regroup. Shoot your next shot.

If you are denied admission —  I understand how you feel. Not just saying that either, so read this blog and the links within it for some hope, vision, and encouragement. Ok. You did not get in. This particular game is over and the buzzer has sounded. BUT you are talented. You are capable. You have tons of potential and promise. Keep practicing by rounding out your fall semester well and keep your head up!

It’s likely you’ve already been admitted to other colleges, or you soon will be. Maybe you need to spend time this holiday season working on a few more college applications. I understand you wish those free throws would have swished cleanly through the net, rather than rattled around the rim and out, but the long game is far from over. Keep your head up! If you do that, you will see plenty of people in the crowd cheering for you— family, friends, teachers, counselors, and others in your community who know you, love you, and believe in you. Focus on their words of affirmation, rather than the ones on a screen, a letter, or in your head right now.

If you are supporting a student receiving difficult news— Parents and other adults around students who are disappointed or hurting think they need to call the admission office (or the president or the governor), appeal the decision, “come down there,” or pull strings.

After twenty years of watching this cycle repeat itself, and particularly as my own kids grow up, I’ve come to appreciate ALL of that comes from a place of deep and genuine love. But ultimately, I think in these moments what kids (all of us, actually) need is very simple—and my son’s coach modeled this well—love, concern, empathy, belief, and encouragement. And hey, if the words aren’t coming, a heartfelt hug might be best anyway. You got this, coach!