The Role of Parents/Caregivers in College Admission

My daughter’s birthday party was last Friday. Long story short, it involved a frenzied and surprisingly competitive neighborhood- wide scavenger hunt, copious amounts of half- eaten pizza slices, a sugar fueled late-night living room dance party, and periodic tween screaming that hit notes any soprano would commend. Good times were had and only one slight injury occurred. I mainly just supplied food, cleaned up, and sought refuge when the music started.

Somewhere amidst the generally controlled chaos, Elizabeth opened presents from her friends, which I discovered based on the strewn pieces of wrapping paper and gift receipts I found in corners of the living room the next day. “So, what did you get?” She rattled off a few of the gifts and proudly displayed her new “cozy Christmas socks,” which she’d apparently slept in.

“But you know what I’m most excited about, right?!” she asked breaking into a grin.

Yep! When are y’all going?

“TODAY! I can’t wait!” eyes brightening, smile widening.

Me: What are you going to get?

“I HAVE NO IDEA!” a smile seeming to reach full capacity.

Why are you yelling?

Same response. Same exuberance.

Each year after Christmas, my aunt has a tradition of taking Elizabeth out for lunch and shopping for something she wanted but did not get, or later realized she was interested in. This year my mom decided a similar experience would be the best birthday gift she could give.

These two are like peas in a pod. Despite a 60-year age difference, they have a ton in common. They just get each other. “Get each other” as in Elizabeth regularly says, “I want to go live with Oma.” It’s sweet on most days, moderately offensive on others, and tempting to look into occasionally.

What Elizabeth loves about these shopping trips is that she gets to choose the music they play in the car, select the restaurant they go to for lunch, where to shop, and what item she ultimately wants. In the end, neither the meal nor the gift end up being extravagant- Moe’s and a sweatshirt to give you a recent example. But it’s the freedom. The choices. And the time together. She LOVES it!

Shopping!!

When Oma showed up, her first question was, “So, where do you want to go?” She was open and excited about their time together. On that particular day, Elizabeth knew exactly where she wanted to go to lunch, and she had a few stores in mind to check out, but generally she was just looking for “jeans.”

Jeans. Especially right now this is a broad category- “Mom” jeans, skinny jeans, tailored fit, athletic fit, I’m sure Google and Instagram would provide another five categories easily. And then you have length, color, material, buttons, zippers, rips, location of rips, size of rips, and that’s before you talk about cost, brand, etc. Ultimately, they went to two or three stores and Elizabeth scanned the racks, tried on a variety of jeans, and weighed her options. Ultimately, she was torn between a few options and wanted my mom’s opinion to make help her final decision.

I’ll admit I find it moderately disturbing that as they were relaying their day to me the first thing I thought about was this blog, which is clearly a me problem. But it is true. Over the years, on panels or webinars, I’ve heard countless responses from colleagues to the question, “What is the role of parents in the college admission experience?” Inevitably, you’ll hear analogies about driver and passenger or pilot and co-pilot. But the longer I do this work, and the older my own kids get, the more convinced I am that the role of a parent/caregiver is a lot like my mom’s trip to lunch and shopping with my daughter for her birthday. And it all centers around choices and options.

Openness, Excitement, and Curiosity

My daughter knew my mom was excited about the adventure of driving around, seeing what they might discover, giving her opinion but honoring Elizabeth’s unique style and interests, and asking questions so they could ultimately find the jeans that “fit” her best. As a parent, especially while your student is in the sophomore and junior year, my hope is you will commit to a similar posture. Vigilantly ask questions, consistently observe, and really listen to what they are saying they want/need. Help them research and learn about the many schools where they could thrive and be open to visiting a wide variety of campuses. Let go of any stereotypes or dated reputations you may be holding onto. You know them best as a person and a learner, so trust your gut rather than rankings or the opinions of others when it comes to creating a list of schools to visit or apply to.

Don’t miss the final part of the story. Ultimately, Elizabeth wanted my mom’s opinion because she had been given the freedom to choose. As parents, of course we want to be consulted and weigh in. But the ability to provide that final input starts by holding back and in the beginning.

Your Presence is the Gift

Does that section heading sound a little cheesy? In this season of gift giving, hope, and thankfulness, I’m good with that because it is true. As I’ve said directly and have proven through my errant predictions on this blog over the years, there are many things I don’t know or understand. But what two decades of working in education and having two kids of my own has taught me is that parents and caregivers love their kids. We want to provide for them and see them happy. Often, we convince ourselves that revolves around a particular outcome, i.e., something they need to get/do/be, so we attempt to control the outcome or steer things in a particular direction.

On the shopping trip, in contrast, the adventure together was as much of the gift as the jeans they ultimately purchased. When Elizabeth and my mom came home that day, they were giddy—laughing, talking about what they had done and seen, and as excited about their time as they were about the purchase.

All metaphors break down eventually, and while I thought this one was pretty good, I also acknowledge that college admission can be stressful or tense because it combines money, deadlines, periods of uncertainty, and the inevitable beginning of a new chapter for everyone. But it also provides families an opportunity to grow closer through the shared experience.

Lots of admission decisions have recently come out, or soon will be in the weeks and months ahead. If your student is deferred, denied, or waitlisted, you are not going to have all the answers or be able to guarantee how everything will resolve. But you do have an opportunity to remind them that you love them, you are proud of them, you are for them, and you are there for them. Your presence is the gift. In the end, how they end up going to college, and the way you build your relationship with them this year, is far more important than where they ultimately go to school.

The Role of Parents/Caregivers in College Admission

As a parent, the good news is you have been down this road before. So many of the decisions and sacrifices you have made over time have been to set your child up for having short- and long-term choices and options. The truth is that this is just one more chapter in that relationship story. Stay open, curious, excited, and most importantly- simply present.

So, the next time I’m on a panel or webinar and the question about the role of a parent/caregiver comes up, be assured I’m refencing this blog series. I am convinced that what colleges want, the blueprint for students, and the ultimate focus of parents is the same—Choices and Options.

Choices and Options- A Blueprint for College Admission

Would you rather eat a bowl of worms or drink a gallon of sour milk? 

Would you rather walk to school naked one day or walk to school backwards every day? 

Would you rather sit on a nail or stand on a push pin? 

These are just a few of the queries I overheard recently at a sixth-grade girls spend the night party. Hold on. Let me clarify- I have a sixth-grade daughter and I was washing dishes while they were playing this game in the adjoining room. (Just didn’t want you canceling this blog based on the wrong idea.) Anyway… none of these or the other options sounded great to me. And I thought about them. Really, I’m still thinking about them. I mean worms or sour milk? Just not sure. It’s the gallon that gets me. If it were a pint, I’d go milk without question. The quantity was a brilliant add. 

 I actually find would you rather instructive for college admission, because ultimately, (just like the colleges I wrote about last time) having choices and options is the goal for students and applicants. Unless you get into a college under an Early Decision plan, the ideal situation is to be able to sit down in the spring of your senior year with multiple offers of admission- and financial aid packages from those places that make it affordable and enticing for you to attend. Unlike sixth-grade girls who clearly only incorporate embarrassing or painful options, you want to have to make a tough decision because the options are so good. And in my experience, the college students who are the most satisfied with their choice are the ones who know they intentionally picked that school over other viable options.  

So how do you end up with choices and options?  

As a freshman and sophomore this starts with doing well in high school classes, and doing good outside of them. In other words, challenge yourself academically to the point where you can learn, enjoy, and still have capacity to contribute to your school, family, and community beyond school hours. At the end of the day, colleges want good high school students. They want kids who are well prepared academically and ones who will add to their campus life and ethos too. Your goal in 9th and 10th grade is simply to set a foundation. Work hard academically, learn to study, focus on time management, advocate for yourself, and get involved in things where you can really have an impact or influence.  

When colleges review transcripts, they start with the ninth grade and work from there. They are asking questions around what you could have taken, what you chose to take, and how you did in each class during each grade. On the Common Application, you’ll also be asked to indicate which years in high school you participated in various activities.  Your goal is to be kind to your current self by getting sleep and not overloading and be kind to your future self by investing now inside and outside the classroom. Having choices and options for college as a senior, comes from making good choices throughout high school. 

As a junior starting to explore colleges (and likely starting to receive lots of mail and email from schools), you should be thinking honestly and earnestly about what you really want and need in an academic environment, and the type of setting in which you can thrive. Does 30,000 students sound exciting and dynamic or terrifying? Does snow from October to March bring about visions of skiing or crying? Does the college you root for or know best have the major you really want?  

Honing in on places that focus on what you are focused on will help you eliminate colleges that don’t match your interests and invest time, money, or other resources visiting and exploring the places that do. This is not easy. It demands keeping an open mind when brochures from places you have never heard from land on your desk or kitchen table. This means being confident enough to tune out unhelpful voices (sometimes the loudest and closest in proximity) and humble enough to seek out information, perspectives, and details that may be less familiar or easy to attain. 

Ask your high school senior self this: Would you rather end up at your state’s flagship or your parents’ alma mater or the closest college to your house or know that you eliminated other options, thought seriously about what you really wanted in a college experience, and intentionally chose your state’s flagship or your parents’ alma mater or the closest college to your house?

To have choices and options as a senior, you have to do your college homework as a junior.

As a senior in the fall, please do not apply anywhere you don’t actually want to go. That’s just dumb. And please do not let anyone convince you that you need to apply to “a few more places” justso you have some arbitrary number they have conceived for you. Instead, be realistic about your grades, your profile outside the classroom, and the competition you will be facing. Again, don’t forget that the end goal is to be able to afford to go. Do your homework by talking to your school counselor, using net price calculators, and consulting sites such as MyIntuition or BigFuture. Be reminded that your chances of being admitted to a school with an admit rate below 20% do not go up 20% by applying to 20% more of those schools. Trade out “dream school” for IRL colleges. Apply to a group of schools (you figure out the number but generally more than 2 and less than 10) where you know you will be thrilled to get in and excited to go. People, there are 4000 higher education options in America and many more around the world. When you eliminate 99.9% of them, it should only leave you with places you are fired up to attend.

 

As a senior in the winter, if you are deferred, please do not write these places off if you are still legitimately interested. Julie Andrews lists raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens/ Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens/ Brown paper packages tied up with strings/ but I note she doesn’t include being deferred and having to wait during college admission as one of her favorite things. Still, if we agree your goal is choices and options, then be reminded a deferral is not a closed door. Ego bruise? Perhaps. Annoying? Sure. But you applied in their admission process not for one round. Stay the course. Send in fall grades, complete the essay, fill out the form, do the interview, or whatever else they may ask. Don’t lose sight of the end goal. Ask yourself if you would rather see it through or wonder later what might have happened?

To recap- how do you end up with Choices and Options? 

  • Do well – and do good. 
  • Do your college homework. 
  • Only apply to places that excite you.  
  •  Stay on Target.  

Spring of senior year. Voila- CHOICES & OPTIONS. You got this! 

 

What do colleges want?

My wife has celiac disease. While many people do not know exactly what that is, they have at least heard of “gluten” and are familiar with the GF or grain symbol on food labels in the grocery store or at restaurants. 20 years ago, however, when she was first diagnosed, that was definitely not the case. In fact, going out to eat was an incredible hassle. “Can you tell me if this is gluten free?” inevitably resulted in a bemused and moderately annoyed manager emerging from the back. Most of the time, despite our best efforts to provide examples, there was more head scratching (disturbing around food) and eyebrow furrowing than recognition or appreciation of the issue. In many cases, to be safe, Amy would just order a salad- sometimes bringing her own dressing to be sure.

One Saturday a month we went to a “Gluten-sensitive support group,” aka GSSG, which was 20 miles from our house in Atlanta. In a city of several million people, there was only one group- giving you an idea of how little known the issue was at that time. During those meetings, people shared advice on which doctors to see, where they had been able to find gluten free products in health food stores (never regular grocery stores), and also exchanged recipes. At the end of each meeting, people shared their latest baked good product or casserole. I looked forward to those meetings the way you look forward to taking an SAT- that is to say- not at all. At best the food tasted like salty cardboard and at worst… well, let’s just say twice in my recollection I had to quickly walk to the bathroom sink to spit out whatever half masticated delicacy I’d partially ingested.

Bottom line is if you had celiac disease, or a significant gluten allergy at that time, there were extremely few choices and options. Even as a spouse, it felt limiting.

Choice and Options

Along with my staff, we have written extensively in the past about “what colleges are looking for.” We’ve covered GPA, rigor of curriculum, activities and involvement, essays, more about essays, plenty of ink spilled and callouses grown writing about writing, teacher recs, interviews, etc. And all of that is accurate, helpful, and worth checking out. But what do colleges really want? Regardless of their size, geographic location, or athletic conference, they want the same thing– Choices and Options. They don’t want to have to “just have a salad” and bring their own dressing. They want a full menu. And their desire- or hunger as it were (really just wrote this entire blog to use that phrase)- for choices and options explains a lot about your college admission experience.

College Search (mail, email, etc.) – If you are a sophomore or junior, you have started to receive more and more email, postcards, and other glossy, shiny solicitations from colleges. Maybe this sounds familiar:

“Dear <<insert name here>>” check out our campus.” Notice all these kids of different ethnicities hanging out together snacking while studying on our super green grass. It just so happens when we took this picture that there were three benches in the background occupied by students engrossed in important discussions about today’s issues.

They say they want you to visit, check out their website, fill out this card, or ultimately apply for admission. Does this mean you will get in? Absolutely not. Does it mean you are competitive for admission at their school? No. So why did they buy your name, spend money on bulk rate postage, or invest copious time debating whether to include a picture of the kid studying abroad in Spain or the one of the students looking closely at a colored liquid in a campus laboratory? Two words (ok, technically three): Choices and Options.

Colleges cast a very wide net to encourage students to check out their school, but they have limited information about you when doing that. Perhaps they have your test score or a sense of what classes you have taken. Maybe they are trying to attract more students from your state or city, or they saw you (or your mom) indicated an interest in Chemistry on a survey or test registration form (hence the lab pic).

Post- Covid (I’m just going to keep saying that ‘til it’s truly a thing) it is tougher to visit high schools during the school day. Traveling is also time intensive and expensive. Sending hundreds of thousands of emails and mailing broadly prospective students- what schools refer to as “student search”- is a big part of their enrollment strategy. Build a big funnel of students, see who is really interested, see who applies, admit those they want, and voila- a class.

What does this mean for you? The good news is contact from a variety of schools helps you see a bigger picture. At times, we all have a tendency to be too narrowly focused. Receiving information from places you have never heard of challenges you to ask bigger questions about what you really want or need- not just default to what you recognize.  On the flipside, too many students believe that the number of times a college contacts them correlates to their odds of being admitted. Nope. Just because a school sends you pithy emails or a lovely fold out poster of their gothic campus nestled just south of the city does not mean the wind is ultimately going to blow you into the admit pool. Take these mailings with a big grain of salt (or a sodium laced circa 2003 gluten-free experiment).

Admission Decisions– If you are a senior, unless you applied to a college who explicitly stated they are using a formula to make admission decisions, they are not using a formula to make admission decisions. Holistic admission means they draw circles more than lines. When you hear admission reps say, “We are looking for a well-rounded class…” they mean they want choices and options. It’s not just going to be about your test score or number of AP classes. This means a few things.

First, it means you are likely to see a student with lower grades or fewer activities get into a school that denies you. Their decisions are based on goals and mission. They want choices and options. They are trying to “build a class” not just hit ENTER on an Excel sheet to figure out who gets in. Is this fair? NO. But they don’t call it Fair Admissions. They call it Holistic Admission- probably because “Choices and Options Admission” rolls off the tongue like Debbie’s gluten free casserole in the GSSG bathroom.

Second, it means if you are deferred admission, they are not saying you are not smart, or they don’t like you, or that you should have joined the French Club back in sophomore year and that would have done the trick. Instead, they are saying we’d like to see our full set of choices and options. Send us your fall grades or maybe write another supplemental essay (good times!) about why you really want to come.

Fun to wait? Absolutely not. I polled 100 humans recently about their five favorite things to do in life and surprisingly nobody listed “Waiting.” But understanding the WHY matters. Too many students take a deferral as an ego hit. Or they are mad, confused, and feel wronged. Deferrals- and ultimately waitlist decisions- are part of the process. What do colleges want? Choices and Options, people. Choices AND Options.

Lastly, it means you may get into a school with a higher ranking or a lower admit rate than another school that denies or defers you. Each year after we release admission decisions, we get calls or notes starting, “With all due respect… (Note: This is the southern equivalent of “Bless your heart…” and basically should be interpreted as “I’m about to tell you why you are wrong or clueless.”) I think you have made a mistake. See, I was admitted to/ got a scholarship from (insert supposedly better college here), so I’d like you to re-review my application.” First, that’s not a valid appeal. Second, what led to the decision was that particular school’s choices and options based fulfilling their distinct institutional priorities.

As I said earlier, colleges often look the same on their websites or brochures. A picture is worth 1000 words, but when all the pictures are the same, it can seem like all colleges are too. Thankfully, they are not. At the end of the day, they all have different goals, different priorities, and different processes for enrolling our students. What they are “looking for” varies widely, but the one thing all colleges want is Choices and Options.

The good news is you can learn a lot about how to approach your college search and selection experience from understanding how colleges approach building their class. And we’ll cover that next time. Until then, have a great Thanksgiving Break. Eat well, take a nap, read something that’s not been assigned, and as always- Hug your mama.

Celebrate Your Submission

Yes. I have heard you get better traction on posts if you have a title that includes “Tips” “Top” or something inflammatory. Yes. I know at best this title sounds paradoxical and at worst—actually, not sure what worst would be. Something really dark, I’m sure.

Good news- that’s not this blog. In fact, my hope is it’s the flipside of dark.

On Sunday night, along with my colleague, friend, and co-author Brennan Barnard, I submitted the updated manuscript of our book to publish a second edition.  I’m not going to lie, it was a heavier lift than either of us expected.

Originally, when we discussed the project, it sounded easy. We had a solid base. This would just be making some additions, particularly since the first book was published just six months before the world stopped… aka March 2020.

Yea- we’ll talk about the rise of test optional, the virtual visit world, changes to yield prediction, and the new and shifting ways colleges are recruiting students in 2022 and beyond. No problem.  But I sort of forgot about the fact that I also have a full-time job, a wife and two kids, other responsibilities in my community and around campus, and a constant desire to add or change “just one more thing.”

So, after a few months of periodic work on the book, I stayed up way too many nights recently until 1 a.m. editing, revising, snacking, re-thinking, and sometimes just straight procrastinating. Ultimately, however, as I’ve written in this blog before, deadline means DEADline, so Sunday night we finally hit submit. Done.

If you recently applied to college via an EA or ED deadline, I’m guessing this sounds familiar, particularly the snacking and procrastination part. Personally, I’ll put in a plug for Reese’s Pieces, salted almonds, and in a pinch, Fritos, but I’m always up for a good gas station run, so if you have suggestions, hit us up @gtadmission on your favorite social media channel.

My point, friends, is that when you originally started your application earlier this fall or summer, I’m guessing you also were like, Yea, I got this. Street address, date of birth, full name. Scoop of chocolate, scoop of vanilla.

And then you ran into the essay; the various supplemental questions for multiple colleges; the mental gymnastics of whether or not to use the Additional Information section; and of course, the always enjoyable consternation about whether or not to send test scores to each of the schools you are considering. Several hundred (thousand?) calories and dozens of hours killed later, you finally hit SAVE for the last time—and then—SUBMIT.

Here’s What I Don’t Know

I don’t know if people are going to love the new book. My guess is a few people will say the Hamilton metaphor doesn’t work or that the Jessie J lyrics seem forced.

I don’t know who else may publish books about college admission in the same timeframe. Last time a flurry of other books came out around the same time. Different angles, different strengths, and different audiences.

I don’t know what’s going to happen in the world in the year ahead as this publishes. Did not have my money down on a global pandemic last time, I can tell you that.

Same Same

I don’t know how your essay is going to “read” in different admission offices on that particular day with a certain admission committee. Maybe they’ll love it. Maybe not.

I don’t know which students or exactly how many applicants are going to apply to the places you applied to this year. Over the last two years, Tech has received 10,000 additional applications- from 40k to 50k. Admit rates change, institutional priorities shift, etc.

And I don’t know what’s going to happen in your life or the lives of people around  you that may dictate how you weigh your decisions or make choices about where you will ultimately go to college next year.

Here’s what I do know

I do know applying to college is a big deal.

I do know you have worked hard academically in high school and contributed significantly to your family, school, and community over the last few years.

I do know you spent the last few weeks editing, revising, proofing… and snacking, of course.

I do know the world spins way too fast. And because of that fact, we need to be intentional about hitting pause and recognizing our wins.

I do know as humans we are prone to focus more on the things that go wrong or we are worried about, and that too quickly we move on to “the next thing.”

Celebrate Your Submission

And that leads us back to the weird title. Celebrate your submission! Some of you finally hit submit after all of that work and then just went to bed, woke up in the morning and ate your cereal like it was any other day. Others of you checked the clock on November 1 and thought, “Oh, good- it’s only 11:54 p.m”.…waited 5 mins and then hit submit (Yea, I see you. Hope you enjoyed Halloween!)

Come on, people! Where is the fun?! Where is the appreciation, the satisfaction, and the other tions?

When we turned in the manuscript, I walked out of the room, kissed my wife, cracked open a… LaCroix… (come on, folks, this is a PG blog), and then got on Amazon and ordered a pair of shoes I’d been wanting. You do you and I’ll…. wake up the next day and eat a huge plate of French Toast!!  (Look, let’s not get all judgy about other people’s celebrations.)

Yes. I realize you have not been admitted yet. I realize this is just submitting applications. BUT it’s a big deal. A BIG DEAL. So don’t drop the ball here. CELEBRATE. You put in a ton of work to get to this point. Good on you. When you get in, we’ll go next level on the celebration, but don’t go flying past this stage.

So, to recap: send us snack recs, creative procrastination techniques, and submission celebrations!

Proud of you. Seriously. Proud. Of.  YOU!!

Playing to Win vs. Playing Not to Lose

You may not have been following Georgia Tech football in recent years. Suffice it to say, it’s been rough. Rough– as in three consecutive three-win seasons. If you are not an American football fan, it’s important to note- there are a lot more than three games in a season. Last month I walked by a man and his family looking at the field and overheard him say, “When I went here they played football down there. Now I hear they host some good concerts.” So, bottom line- not good. 

As a result, a little over a week ago, our head coach was fired, and assistant head coach and Tech alumnus Brent Key was named interim coach. In his first statement to the press, Coach Key stressed the importance of playing to win versus playing not to lose. His point was our players were worried something would go wrong and were playing tight as a result. He wanted them to feel empowered to make things happen versus waiting for things to happen. Well…in his first game as head coach, the Yellow Jackets (a double-digit underdog) traveled to Pittsburgh and beat the #24 Panthers. Clearly, Coach Key had unlocked (yea, I went there) something in his players.  

If you are a senior, my hope is you will also play to win versus playing not to lose in college admission and your final year of high school as well. Here’s what that looks like.

  1.  Trust yourself. Playing to win means believing in your preparation, intuition, and ability. Lots of seniors right now are stressed about their essay with EA/ED deadlines looming. Listen- you can write. And you have valuable stories to tell and perspective to share. There is no perfect essay topic, so don’t let that give you anxiety. Admission readers want specifics from you. They want to read something uniquely yours. Playing not to lose would be convincing yourself you need more multi-syllabic words or angsting over possibly missing a comma splice. Playing to win means being prepared, I.e. writing multiple drafts, having one or two others give you feedback, and then hitting submit with the confidence that you have done your best work.  

In the year ahead, I also hope you will trust yourself when it comes to the colleges you chose to apply to and those you decide not to pursue. To hear yourself you may have to tune out other voices. When you are deferred, waitlisted, or denied, trust other good things are coming your way. Success in college admission is not getting into your “top choice,” but being prepared, excited to play, and ready to take advantage of the opportunity wherever you end up. Playing to win will mean quiet confidence when the day comes to put your deposit down or close apps at other schools. Trusting yourself means knowing the choice is authentically yours.  

I hope your senior year is characterized by building friendships, preparing academically, and enjoying a unique time you’ll never be able to repeat. Take time to thank and appreciate the people around you who believe in you.  

2. Be Proactive. In the Pitt game and going forward, Coach Key wants his players to make plays, rather than waiting for the game to come to them. Good high school students, good college applicants, and good college students do the same thing. What is not done today that you need to take care of? Are you procrastinating on finishing your application? Figure out what it’s going to take and execute that plan. Are you nervous or unclear about what test optional really means at a college you are considering? Reach out to them. Do you need a teacher to write a rec letter for you, or your neighbor who is an English teacher to look over your essay? TODAY is the day! The college admission experience, if you will let it, can teach you lessons about how to succeed in college and beyond. Playing not to lose means hoping, worrying, and being tight or nervous. Playing to win means being proactive. 

I hope this is how you approach the rest of your senior year too.  A year from now your parents, teachers, coaches, boss, and the other supporting adults in your life won’t be there in the exact way they are currently. Are you waiting on them to provide, guide, decide, or drive?  I hope you won’t spend the year looking around waiting for others to create opportunities for you. To make a play you must move. What do you have to lose when you are playing to win?

3. Have fun.  I Googled fun and did not see pictures of people answering short answer prompts, brainstorming essay topics, or taking standardized tests. But let’s flip the script here. You don’t have to apply to college. Unlike the vast majority of the world’s population, you get to apply to college. We often call it an admission process, and that can make it feel like a grind. I believe that term makes this all seem transactional versus being transformational. Don’t lose sight of the big picture here. If you are reading this, YOU ARE GOING TO COLLEGE. That’s amazing! That’s exciting. Where? I don’t know. You don’t know. So, yea, there’s some uncertainty and mystery. Again, flip the script. Instead of that being what has you nervous, get excited and commit to having fun with the adventure of discovering.  

Ok. Let’s play this out and assume you won’t get into a couple of the schools you apply to. Playing to win does not mean everything goes your way or you control every down or play. Instead, it means you are on the field. You are in the arena. You get to see how and where your preparation, effort, ability, intuition, and excitement lead. That. Is. FUN.  

And again, same for your senior year.  Enjoy. Have fun. Laugh, smile, do things you want to do. For the love of all things holy don’t let college admissions dominate this final year of high school.  Playing to win means being relaxed, confident, trusting yourself, being proactive, and absolutely having fun. And, as always, hug your mama. 

Will Tech beat Dook (you run your spellcheck and I’ll run mine) on Saturday? I am not putting $ Down. But I know they’ll be playing to win- and I’m hoping the same for you in the days, months, and year ahead.