New Updates:
- A little over 5 pages
- Scene description added to the beginning
- Some final dialogue to conclude the scene after the monologue
- The scene is now complete not just a monologue
- Another character was added, a parent of one of the students
- Now about 5 minutes in length
- The beginning of the second part of the monologue was changed
- The immediate dialogue leading into the monologue was updated
- Minor phrases were altered throughout
Audio delivery of the scene:
Again, I made a YouTube video of the delivery of the scene with me playing all the parts to show how the dialogue should be paced.
PDF of the draft in screenplay format
Notes:
- The dialogue, in the beginning, is a little rough and I am still playing around with it.
- I like the fast-paced dialogue exchange when Mr. Butler interjects and starts questioning the parent
- The exchange starting with “How much do you know about the science I taught?” is almost verbatim from the actual Scopes monkey Trial. It was a very iconic moment when Scopes’ lawyer responded with “Do you think about things you do think about?
- Asking about whether the children were harmed is also inspired by the Scopes Monkey Trial where a student was put on the stand and asked the same thing. However, the questions that follow are my own.
- I feel now that the monologue sounds a little better and a little smoother with the changes
- I am still working on a phrase to replace: “education guided by God himself”. I was looking at Yeshiva’s mission statements to find something good but couldn’t get anything. It should be something able to be used in a condescending way
- This scene comes out to 5 minutes and 15 seconds. However, with the initial setup, Butler having to walk in as stated in the scene description, and future edits, I believe it will land around 6 minutes. That, I believe is a very good length for a scene like this.
- For reference the Scent of a Woman scene is about 7 minutes, the Newsroom scene is 5 minutes, and the Good Will Hunting Scene is 5 minutes.