Barrel of Monkeys because in the game barrel of monkeys, every piece is the same, all crammed in one area together. That is a claim I am making about these heavily religious schools. The students are being forced to conform to their fundamental religious beliefs and are stuck in their community, just like the barrel of monkeys. Afterward, they are not able to explore their interests/full potential.
Note
I am not dead set on this title. As I write and read more on the topic, I am open to another title coming into my mind. That being said, I do quite like this one.
Here I have the initial draft of the monologue along with a couple of lines of dialogue that lead into it. Some background is necessary to understand the monologue
Background (A more detailed film outline is coming)
The teacher that is hired is a former graduate of that Yeshiva school but was horribly affected by it as he did not receive a functional education
The teacher was still able to make it out of his community boundaries and attain a proper education
Upon being hired as a temporary teacher at his old Yeshiva, he cannot bear to see the students not receiving a proper education so goes off the books in secret
The students respond very well to the material, so much so that they revolt against their previous teachings in a way inspired by the book and true story, The Wave.
This “club” that they develop takes things too far as, unintended by the teacher, the students get together and burn their previous books
This leads to the teacher being caught by the school and the whole situation being blamed on him
He is faced with a courtroom-style appeal with the board of the school, and the parents of the students are in attendance.
Upon the end of his scrutiny, he set off on a speech that begins as an uncontrolled, angry rant but turns into a more reserved, constructive statement.
Process
Before writing the monologue I participated in a writing exercise called the four emotions, pioneered by playwright Simon Stephens. In this, you spend five minutes on each of the four prompts: What makes you angry? What makes you frightened? What makes you hopeful? And what makes you feel ashamed? You write this in the first-person point of view of the character. In the end, you underline the lines in each of your responses that you like, and use them for your monologue. I didn’t end up using many of the lines, but that exercise helped me form a basis for the character and understand his perspective better. Here are my responses (sorry for the sloppy handwriting I was writing quickly).
With this being said there is still much that needs to be fixed/added in the monologue as well as some more dialogue before and after the monologue (mostly before). Unfortunately, the screenshots from the actual screenwriting software aren’t coming out well so I will copy and paste them below. I could maybe share the actual project through email if you want but you would probably have to create a free account with Arc Studio. Note: Currently the name of the teacher is Mr. Butler. This is an allusion to the Butler Act, which was the act that banned the teaching of evolution during the time of the Scopes Monkey Trial. I also have a YouTube link to a recording of me delivering the scene and monologue. I’m not a great actor nor have had the proper time to work out the delivery in its entirety but this should give a rough idea:
Here is the link if the video doesn’t work: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ouc0cAHjvM
PRESIDENT: Mr. Butler, given your lack of credible defense and apparent remorse at the least for your actions, it is my order that you will be removed from this institution immediately for the betterment of the children of this community.
BUTLER: I feel no remorse
PRESIDENT: Excuse me
BUTLER: You said my “lack of apparent remorse”. It’s not apparent because I have none.
PRESIDENT: You truly believe –
BUTLER: Yes.
**pause of silence **
(Begins his rant spoken quickly and angrily. As if he is finally able to get what he wants to say off his chest)
I know what comes after this school. I know students walk out of here, knowing no more than the 12-year-olds across the street. And why? Because you sit here telling parents that their kids are receiving a “high standard of learning” meanwhile they can barely speak English, fail basic standardized math and reading tests, and graduate into poverty rate of 70%, a rate that is triple that of the city that it’s in. Now you can sit there all you want and tell yourself that you are giving something of value to these kids but I can-not. I am an educator and I will not sit here and get belittled for doing my fucking job!
**a brief period of silence as the council is at a loss for words**
**The next section is said at a more calm and relaxed pace. Realizing he lashed out he now has more reserve and can speak more constructively**
(Sigh)…an educator. What does that even mean anymore? What is education without asking questions? Without exploring new ideas, without, just, developing new opinions. You know I went to this school. Graduated almost 20 years ago today and in that time I was able to learn, think, explore. You know what I found? I found that the world is a beautiful place. Not because it was created by an all-powerful creator or because of some book, but because of people. People who walk around every day, curious about the world around them. Eager to ask questions and create new solutions. When I came back here, that curiosity, that spark, I saw it in those kids’ eyes. When I taught them evolution they weren’t critical, they were inquisitive. When I taught them math they weren’t cynical, they were analytical. And when I taught about the universe they weren’t angry that it went against the Torah, they were fascinated. What was asked of me to teach, it would have crushed that spark inside of them, and in doing so, would have crushed me as well. Did my mission get out of hand? yes. Of course my intention was never to have students burn their books or disrespect their religion. I believe all knowledge is sacred and religion is a wonderful thing. But it doesn’t belong as the sole material in our children’s textbooks. I know that much of what I am saying will likely be ignored. Yet, I remain hopeful. Hopeful for a future that is structured by scientific excellence and supported by the loving nature of religion. After all, why would God create such beautiful, scientific intricacies in the world if they are not meant to be studied? These students gave me that hope. So you ask me if I am remorseful Mr. President and my answer remains no, I am hopeful.
Some Notes:
When formatted correctly this takes up about 2.5 pages of the screenplay
The delivery is an important consideration, some words that seem redundant or commas that seem excessive are meant to guide the delivery of the speech
The first section (angry rant) needs some polishing. I am working on making it deliver a little smoother and a little more clearly, I struggle more with the angry part because it is difficult for me to write something that expressive
The second, more calm part, reads quite nicely when the pacing and tone are done correctly. as shown in the Youtube video
Things to change:
I would like smoother dialogue from the president that feels more like something he would say and not something to set up a monologue
I need a little more aggressive first part or maybe just an extra line or two
I would like more biblical/Torah references in it. Similar to how in the newsroom speech I posted he said “Star-Spangled awesome.” It gives a more creative playful feel
This is a stretch but I have read that part of what adds to the musicality of writing, particularly in monologues, is writing it in iambic. Given time, I would like to write these longer paragraphs in iambic, both for sound and as a good learning experience.
“Without a doubt a member of the worst period generation period ever period”
“We waged war on poverty not poor people”
“We aspired to intelligence, it didn’t make us feel inferior”
“First step in solving any problem is recognizing there is one”
Analysis:
The structure of this monologue from the TV show Newsroom is how I would like my monologue to be structured. The character begins fairly aggressively, more aggressively than I will do, criticizing America using creative, sarcastic comments like “star-spangled awesome” as well as hard facts on America’s rankings. However, he takes a dramatic shift in tone, pace, and content, inspiring hope by talking about how great America used to be. This appeals more to the emotional side than the fact-based side, using lines like “We waged war on poverty not poor people”. I would like to start my monologue by having something that ticks off my character and causes him to begin talking more aggressively about the problem and then transition into a more hopeful perspective and provide a potential solution to the issue.
After the Dodgers win the 1955 world series, a young high school baseball player is pressured to continue his career in baseball while fighting constant sleep deprivation and a secret urge to pursue a career in science.
A young baseball fan sleeps through the 1955 Dodgers world series after spending the night preparing for an underground science competition.
After a young baseball fan sleeps through the Brooklyn Dodgers world series, leading him to spend his life developing a time machine to experience the game, he dies before he is able to use it from a sleep deprivation-induced heart attack.
In the opening scene, he walks the street as he realizes he slept through the world series seeing all the homemade confetti everywhere.
Hears radio reruns of the Three Blind Mice
Dies from a heart attack induced by lack of sleep, showing the importance of sleep
He is unable to complete the time machine in time due to a lack of science education in his earlier school years.
What do we believe: Watermelon is a top three fruit
Opposing: Watermelon is a bottom 3 fruit
Evidence: Watermelon has one of the highest water content at around 90%, so it is basically all water.
ChatGPT question: Do you agree that watermelon is a bottom 3 fruit because it has one of the highest water content at around 90%, so it is basically all water?
ChatGPT answer:
As an AI language model, I don’t have personal opinions or preferences. However, I can provide information about watermelons and their nutritional value.
Watermelon is a fruit that belongs to the Cucurbitaceae family and is known for its high water content, which makes it a refreshing and hydrating snack, especially during hot weather. While it is true that watermelon is about 90% water, it also contains essential vitamins and minerals such as vitamin C, vitamin A, potassium, and magnesium.
In terms of its nutritional value, watermelon is considered a low-calorie fruit, with approximately 46 calories per cup. It is also a good source of dietary fiber, which can help regulate digestion and prevent constipation.
Ultimately, whether or not watermelon is considered one of the “bottom 3” fruits is subjective and based on personal taste preferences. Some people may enjoy its sweet and refreshing taste, while others may not be as fond of it. However, from a nutritional standpoint, watermelon can certainly be a healthy and hydrating addition to a balanced diet.
My project assumption: Students who leave religious schools are less prepared for life after school.
Opposing view: Students who leave religious high schools are more prepared for life after school.
Evidence 1: Household income in Hassidic Jewish communities is higher than the general public at $102,000: https://nishmaresearch.com/assets/pdf/REPORT%20-%20Nishma%20Research%20-%20The%20Finances%20of%20Orthodox%20Jewish%20Life%20Dec%202021.pdf
Evidence 2: Religious study provides many critical skills similar to that of high-level humanities classes, as the students deeply study and analyze their texts. https://forward.com/life/416616/what-yeshiva-kids-are-actually-studying-all-day/
Optional to teach evolution in Oklahoma and Creationism may be taught
Evolution is taught but also heavily questioned opening room for creationism in Tennessee
In Louisiana evolution is taught but they passed a law allowing teachers to supplemental education materials to critique evolution allowing for creationism to be taught
There are several states that teach both evolution and creationism
Analysis:
This serves a very similar purpose to the article about the Bill trying to get passed in Montana to ban teaching certain topics as fact. Although only three states are really allowing for Creationism to be taught, the methods in which they go about it open up the possibility for other states to do the same. Tennessee and Louisiana essentially found loopholes to mandate the teaching of evolution on paper whilst also allowing teachers the freedom to teach creationism, a process that could be easily copied by other states. With respect to the other states that teach both evolution and creationism, I actually believe this is a good thing, as long as they are done in a fair and equal manner. I would be a hypocrite to say students should only be educated in evolution and not even exposed to other opinions. The main issue I have is when schools only broadcast topics like creationism and censor science. I think for my project this data could add some Logos to the point my character will try to make in his final monologue.
Citation:
States That Don’t Teach Evolution 2023. States that don’t teach evolution 2023. (2023). Retrieved March 3, 2023, from https://worldpopulationreview.com/state-rankings/states-that-dont-teach-evolution
“If you string together a set of speeches expressive of a character, and well finished in point of diction or thought, you will not produce the essential tragic effect with a play which has a plot and artistically constructed incidents.”
He is basically saying that great characters is important but they cannot carry a full story without a great plot
He defines a plot as a set of incidents
The ending is the most important part as it will determine if the audience is left satisfied
The end is something that, “…has nothing following it.”
Aristotle presents three parts of possible plots that can be chosen from or used together: Reversal of Intention: “change by which action veers round to its opposite.”, Recognition: “change from ignorance to knowledge.”, and The Tragic Incident: “destructive or painful action.”
Character: character determines man’s qualities, but it is by their action that they are happy or the reverse.”
Must be compassionate or at least intrigued by the character
Character traits: Must be Good: “the character will be good if the purpose is good.”, Propriety: conventional rules or behaviors pertaining to that character should be followed, True to Life: Realistic, Consistency: Anything about the character should be constant including his flaws
Thought: “thought is found where something is proven to be or not to be.”
Diction:“The expression of the meaning in words; and its essence is the same in both verse and prose.”
The words you chose shouldn’t just be about relaying information, but about displaying emotions and characterization
Diction is also important in scene description
Song: Don’t build your story around a particular set of songs
Music can play a key role in visualization while writing
Spectacle: Least important aspect of storytelling. “Spectacular effects depends more on the art of the stage machinist than on that of the poet.”
Analysis:
Aristotle’s Poetics was first introduced to me through an Aaron Sorking masterclass I took. Aaron Sorkin fiercely abides by Aristotle’s Poetics and believes all screenwriters should. Seeing the Poetics for the first time I can’t help but agree. Before reading this I honestly would have believed that great characters can make their own plot and carry a story. But the Aristotle puts it I can clearly see that the plot really is the most important thing. I will say that I still believe great characters can overshadow a plot and carry a film on their own, however, it will be missing the great meaning and depth that screenwriters strive for. I also found it interesting that he specifies spectacle is the least important part. This is very relevant as the debate over superhero movies is in full swing. Upon reading this I also realized that Sorkin’s screenplays tend to lack spectacle, yet the writing is so good you are equally immersed in the story.
Citation:
Miyamoto, K. (2017, October 18). Aristotle’s six golden rules of screenwriting. ScreenCraft. Retrieved March 3, 2023, from https://screencraft.org/blog/aristotles-six-golden-rules-of-screenwriting/
There are some pretty notable differences between the screenplay and what the actor actually says in the film
There are not many directors cues in this scene
The director cues that there are, however, all greatly contribute to the scene, sometimes providing extra characterization. Ex: “George hesitates, his father puts his hand on his arm, whispers purposefully”
Generally, if it is more than 1 person speaking, under the name of the person taking they put (to ____)
Occasionally the pacing is dictated right before their paragraph. One would imagine this doesn’t mean much as the actor and director tend to dictate this when they are filming
When the dialogue is quick, as in two characters exchanging single lines, something that adds to musicality in this scene is having one word repeated in each line. “I couldn’t say”/”You couldn’t say or you wouldn’t say”/”I–I just couldn’t say”/”Couldn’t, wouldn’t, shouldn’t…”
When a line is meant to be said slowly and emphasized the words are all underlined
Analysis
Having this screenplay was most helpful for realizing the technical format and little intricacies the screenwriter uses. I thought the underlined words and pacing notes were interesting and I found the lack of director cues quite surprising. I didn’t realize how much was the actor’s interpretation of the character compared to the cues the screenwriter writes. It is also interesting how much the screenplay changed in the final scene. I have to love what I write but realize that it won’t be exact to what is said because the actor has to interpret it their way.
A study that aimed to incorporate more argumentation into the curriculum of science teachers and religious education teachers
Tried to promote more collaboration between these two types of teachers through argumentation
Based on their definition of argument on Toulmin’s framework “claim, data, warrant, backing, rebuttal, and qualifier”
Their scientific question: “How does science and RE teachers’ cross-subject collaboration impact their understanding and views of argumentation, teaching argumentation and their collaboration?“
The science and religion teachers found that through argumentation, there are many links in what is being taught
“Compared to the RE teachers, the scientists recounted more changes in their views about how argumentation prompts students to back up scientific ideas with evidence.”
Science teachers shifted from teaching to the test to more reasoning-based approaches
The intersection between science and religious education
Analysis:
This article can greatly contribute to the actual scene I will be writing out. In that scene, I would like to not just criticize what is happening but provide an alternate approach to solving this problem. An interesting avenue could be actually having the religious and science teachers collaborate more. Introducing argumentation in classes not only helps with critical thinking but can help students break out of their religious indoctrination and form opinions for themselves. One important difference between this article compared to what I am writing is that 2/3 of the schools used were non-faith schools, making this interdisciplinary connection much easier.
Citation
Chan, J., & Erduran, S. (2023). The Impact of Collaboration Between Science and Religious Education Teachers on Their Understanding and Views of Argumentation. Research in science education, 53(1), 121–137. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11165-022-10041-1
