This week Senior Associate Director of Admission, Mary Tipton Woolley, joins us on the blog. Welcome, Mary Tipton!
My daughter started kindergarten this week, and it seems like only yesterday she was born. Such a cliche, but oh so true! In preparing for the start of school, I decided to write her a letter. When I finished, I realized the feelings of a parent sending their child to kindergarten are likely similar to those felt by parents sending their child to college. Sure, she’s still sleeping across the hall, but I suspect those other feelings are not so different.
But I worry that in the midst of applying to college, and the focus on getting in, getting out, success, and achievement, overshadow the natural feelings of a family getting ready for a big transition and the opportunities that come with it. If your house was like mine this summer, there were some extra tears and arguments – no doubt a sign of underlying nervousness on all our parts of what is to come (or maybe it’s life between a mother and daughter!). It’s yet another reminder that as parents we learn and grow right along with our kids!
You’re off to great places! You’re off and away!
Here are some of the thoughts I shared with her in my letter….
Monday you start Kindergarten, and I am so excited for you! The hair is cut, the first day dress chosen (thanks, Lulu), lunches planned and backpack broken in. Over the next several years, you will learn and grow in many ways, and I look forward to sharing the experience with you. To paraphrase Dr. Seuss, “[Monday] is your day! You’re off to great places! You’re off and away!”
I hope you will arrive at school every day with your ears and eyes open for learning. Your teacher will put her energy into helping you learn and grow, but it’s your responsibility to take advantage of all that she is offering you. You’ll also have to practice what you learn – after all, none of us learned to read or spell or excel at anything without practice! I hope you will continue to respect your teachers, and not be afraid to ask questions about matters that are confusing or contrast with what you think/believe. It’s okay to do that, so long as your mind and heart are open to understanding perspectives that might challenge your own.
Your friends will also push you to grow and learn. You’ll keep some of your old friends and make new ones. Frankly, you’ll probably learn more from them than in your classes (but don’t tell your teachers I said that!). They will make you happy and sad, excited and frustrated! That’s okay too…you’ll do the same to them. Remember there’s a heart inside everyone you meet that deserves to be respected, no matter how much they make you mad or how much you disagree with them. Sometimes your friends will be better at things than you are. Cheer them on and celebrate their successes with them, because at some point the tables will turn and you’ll be better at things than they are. Then you’ll have them to celebrate with you too!
Some other thoughts on my mind:
- Don’t stop asking questions. Your dad and I will continue to be open and honest with you, even when we know you may not like the answer we’re giving you or it makes all of us uncomfortable!
- Don’t be afraid to fail! We’ll be there to cheer you on when you succeed and when you fail – there’s as much to be learned from failure as being successful!
- Don’t let fear stand in your way of trying something new. You’ll miss out on some amazing lessons in life if you do.
I’m proud of the person you are – the value you place on love and friendships and your fearlessness in expressing it. I’m proud of the excitement you show for things both small and large. I’m proud of the confidence you have to be your own person. Keep this up and you will succeed, “98 and ¾ percent guaranteed!”
Trust the Transition
Now that our family is a few days in to this new season of life, I have a few other thoughts on this transition:
Trust – We are trusting a school community with our children. That takes a lot of trust – even more so when you’re sending your child to college! It’s a great reminder of the responsibility we have as educators to embrace those in our charge and work to help them have a smooth transition. The communication from her teachers and school has helped me gain trust in them. Parents, take advantage of all the ways a college wants to communicate with you – parent newsletters, parent program offerings, and family weekend are just a couple of examples. I searched several university and military academy websites, and all have parent programs featured prominently in search results. Go find yours!
Logistics – I’m thinking about what my daughter is doing throughout the day. Did she find her way to her classroom? Could she open her lunch thermos? Was the spaghetti still hot? Did she make it to her after school bus? I’m sure these feelings are amplified when you don’t see your child every day. Before you drop off your child at college, set some parameters surrounding your expectations for communication. My parents suffered through a child who would go a week without checking in (sorry, mom… I get it now!). The only way to ensure all parties are satisfied, and not stifled, by communication is to keep talking about it.
Tears (or no tears!) – I had none, nor did my daughter. I’m excited for this next step for her and know we’ve done all we can to prepare her for it. Parents, you have too, so celebrate with your child! Because they’re “off to great places! [They’re] off and away!”
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